My Dad cheats on my Mom, and my Mom is a so dumb for believing ANYTHING he says. He is always over, when I honestly don't want to talk to him anymore. But I supposedly "have to" just because he is my father. I honestly wouldn't give two shits if he were the Pope, I've lost all respect for him. Practically every time i see him he cries because he misses me. Well that was HIS fucking fault now wasn't it? If he wasn't being a little prick saying, "I'm not happy with your mother, I'm seeing someone else..." then he wouldn't be in this predicament right now. For a fucking YEAR, he cheated on her. How the fuck could he look her in the eyes. Now he is trying to apologize even though the divorce papers are in the system [but not signed]. They need to get it done and over with.
Now my mother, such a wonderful person. She takes out her pissed off mood swings on me. I don't tell her much because of this. So today I'm upset because it feels like this place is jail & I can't get out. All my friends are always busy and it feels like no one except Brent makes time for me, or mentions the fact that they want to hang out with me. My friends hung out with me more when I was depressed and didn't know what to fucking do. Now that I'm happy I feel as if they're all avoiding me, or just not even realizing I'm still their friend. Well I tell my mom how I'm upset because SHE ASKED ME. I give her my response and she makes a little huff noise and a slight hmph/ha. I ask her what the little noise was for, she says to me ,"You're acting like it's a tragedy. I don't know what to say. If I were in your predicament, I would be crying 24/7 because i have no life." WHAT THE FUCK is that supposed to do? Is that supposed to give me some sort of epiphany? I KNOW I have friends. I KNOW I have a life. She is one that doesn't have a life. She comes home sits on the couch for hours, then when she's on the computer, she's looking for guys on online dating sites. Oh yeah, & I'm the one with no life? She's trying to find love over the fucking internet. Just because she's angry with where she is at in life doesn't mean she has to bring me down too.
What she said to me this morning hurt, it did make me cry. It's not that what she said is stuck in my head, it's just I can't even begin to believe she would respond like that to me. I'm just so glad that someone will always be there for me. I called Brent. He is also busy today with personal things & wrestling, but he is still making time for me. No, I'm not seeing him today, but he's drawing the cutest pictures and sending them to me, so I can smile. He is whom I respect.
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